Post your corny jokes - Page 925

**slisse** · March 3rd, 2015, 03:24 PM

Just got off the phone with my cousin who lives in Greenville, Maine.

She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.

The temperature is 32 below zero and Wind chill is -59.

Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

She said if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bastard in.

**bp666** · March 3rd, 2015, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

I don't do nothin' Pro Bono...

How did this become about the lead singer of U2?

**SanteeFats** · March 3rd, 2015, 07:50 PM

**DonnyJoe** · March 5th, 2015, 01:09 AM

How come the blonde had blisters on her lips?

From trying to blow out a light bulb.

**retroanalyst** · March 5th, 2015, 04:57 PM

After a bit of a disappointing fumble on the settee, my wife stormed off:

"You're fucking clueless when it comes to sex" she screamed, "I'm going upstairs to play with my clit."

…whatever that is.

**Jeff Vader** · March 5th, 2015, 05:10 PM

I taught my Dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground...

We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.

**DonnyJoe** · March 5th, 2015, 05:32 PM

Blondes should never be given coffee breaks.

It takes WAY too long to retrain them.

**SanteeFats** · March 5th, 2015, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tygrkhat40

But if we don't stop, cui bono?

Hey isn't she Sonny Bono's sister??

**gedly** · March 5th, 2015, 09:54 PM

It wasn't a good idea for me to get that job at the concrete factory. I finished up mixing with the wrong crowd.

**tamsmith** · March 5th, 2015, 10:57 PM

Watery eyes after sex ?

Two black guys were in a bar talking, and one says to the other, "You ever notice after you have sex with a white woman that your eyes burn, your nose burns and you get all teary-eyed?"

The second black guy says,
"Yeah, all the time."

The first one asked, "Why is
that?"

The second says, "I'm pretty
sure it's the pepper spray."

March 3rd, 2015, 03:24 PM	#9241
slisse Vintage Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: BE Posts: 2,405 Thanks: 32,668 Thanked 72,544 Times in 2,481 Posts	Just got off the phone with my cousin who lives in Greenville, Maine. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is 32 below zero and Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She said if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bastard in. __________________ Life is short, so try to make the best of it. If any of my links isn't working, please send me a PM so I can fix it. Thank you.

March 5th, 2015, 01:09 AM	#9244
DonnyJoe Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Northern Plains U.S.A. Posts: 223 Thanks: 6,811 Thanked 13,106 Times in 416 Posts	How come the blonde had blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out a light bulb. __________________ Where Ever You Go...There You Are!

March 5th, 2015, 04:57 PM	#9245
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 122,083 Thanked 47,469 Times in 3,337 Posts	After a bit of a disappointing fumble on the settee, my wife stormed off: "You're fucking clueless when it comes to sex" she screamed, "I'm going upstairs to play with my clit." …whatever that is. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

March 5th, 2015, 05:10 PM	#9246
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,030 Times in 6,511 Posts	I taught my Dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground... We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

March 5th, 2015, 05:32 PM	#9247
DonnyJoe Vintage Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Northern Plains U.S.A. Posts: 223 Thanks: 6,811 Thanked 13,106 Times in 416 Posts	Blondes should never be given coffee breaks. It takes WAY too long to retrain them. __________________ Where Ever You Go...There You Are!

March 3rd, 2015, 07:50 PM	#9243
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,930 Thanks: 282,124 Thanked 815,491 Times in 60,972 Posts

March 5th, 2015, 09:54 PM	#9249
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,236 Thanks: 19,906 Thanked 69,347 Times in 3,173 Posts	It wasn't a good idea for me to get that job at the concrete factory. I finished up mixing with the wrong crowd.

March 5th, 2015, 10:57 PM	#9250
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,434 Times in 9,078 Posts	Watery eyes after sex ? Two black guys were in a bar talking, and one says to the other, "You ever notice after you have sex with a white woman that your eyes burn, your nose burns and you get all teary-eyed?" The second black guy says, "Yeah, all the time." The first one asked, "Why is that?" The second says, "I'm pretty sure it's the pepper spray."